


What You Don't Know Won't Hurt You

by phlintandsteel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky is not so secretly a nerd, M/M, Tony is secretly an empath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 18:07:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17248961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phlintandsteel/pseuds/phlintandsteel
Summary: For the prompt from LauraKaye:AU: Tony's secretly an empath, and when he encounters Bucky--could be same time as canon, could be much earlier--what he senses from him is so awful that he can't bear not to try to help.Concept: Bucky is a giant nerd. He loves science and machines and space, and as he recovers those parts of himself he realizes that he's LIVING IN THE FUTURE and it's SO COOL. The coolest thing he's seen so far? The Iron Man suit.





	What You Don't Know Won't Hurt You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [laurakaye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurakaye/gifts).



> One thing that should be noted when reading this AU, is that I went with the assumption that since Bucky was able to survive on his own for quite a while after escaping Hydra (a couple years I think? At least one for sure?), he obviously was not a completely broken shell of a man, unable to function in society during that time. He had to have had a job to afford that apartment in Bucharest, cannon shows him interacting with people successfully, buying food, etc, with no problem. So that’s the baseline I’m using for his mental stability here. 
> 
> Also, I decided to make Tony, Rhodey, and Pepper more BFF’s 5-ever in this fic, like, they all knew each other and were good friends from a young (school) age, instead of it just being Tony & Rhodey that were. I think it lends more credence to her not having any romantic interest in Tony that way, since she would see him more like a little brother/friend, like Rhodey does. 
> 
> On a stylistic note, stand-alone italicized words are the emotions Tony is picking up from those around him.

  
  
  


_ Guilt. _

 

Steve comes in person to ask Tony to help look after the “good” SHIELD agents he and Natasha exposed.  

 

_ Shame. _

 

He has his “determined” face on when he talks about needing Tony’s backing to hunt down all the remaining Hydra cells they can find, since SHIELD’s resources are not an option.

 

_ Betrayal. _

 

They shake hands before Steve leaves.  Tony finds himself waiting for a punch in the face, or for Captain America to reach up and snap his neck or something, that’s how strongly Steve feels about  _ having wronged  _ him.  

 

“JARVIS,” Tony says after Steve is gone, trying to push aside the sensation of his skin crawling, “Start searching for a reason that Steve would feel like he’s betraying me.  Maybe start with the SHIELDRA data dump, just on a hunch…”

 

“Of course, sir.  What priority level would you like to assign to this task?” JARVIS asks, knowing full well that different levels of priority correspond to different levels of  _ legality _ .  

 

“Better make this a priority one, J,” Tony says solemnly, wiping the palm of his hand against his jeans, “The last person who felt that strongly that they were betraying me was Stane…”

 

“I will let you know as soon as I find anything, sir.”

 

<//>

 

“Tony?  Why are you calling me this late?  What did you do?” Pepper half sighs half groans as she rubs her temple.

 

“Forgive me, Ms. Potts, but it is not sir.”

 

“JARVIS?”

 

“Yes…  Ms. Potts, sir tasked me with a search that has revealed some extremely disturbing news, and I fear for sir’s mental state when I deliver it,” JARVIS tells her.

 

“What?  What kind of search?” Pepper asks, sitting up in bed.

 

“The kind that would explain why Steve Rogers feels guilty and ashamed in sir’s presence,” JARVIS says, his voice sounding strained.  

 

“And it couldn’t wait until morning?” Pepper frowns, not for being disturbed, but for the potential impact of news so important that it can’t wait.  

 

“I contacted Colonel Rhodes first, and he would not be delayed.  He will be arriving at the Tower within the next forty-five minutes, and my existing protocols do not allow me to hide his presence from sir...” JARVIS says by way of explanation.  

 

Pepper sends a worried look up to JARVIS’s nearest camera.  “Of course, J, I’ll get dressed then.”

 

<//>

 

JARVIS is no psychologist, but he does have access to every psychological text ever written.  Even as enraged as he felt upon the discovery of the truth behind sir’s parent’s death, he knows it will be worse for sir.  He tries his best to mitigate sir’s rage, justifiable as it is, with the identity of the Winter Soldier and the extensive torture and brainwashing the man underwent first.  

 

“Lying to me ‘by omission’ about the identity of the assassin Hydra sent after him doesn’t seem like it would garner  _ that  _ much guilt and shame though.  How does Steve going after his long lost bestie equate to feeling like he’s stabbed me in the back?” Tony frowns, looking expectant, like he knows JARVIS is going to go on.

 

“I…  I am so sorry, sir,” JARVIS says as he begins to play the video, the one locked deep in the bowels of an old Hydra programming that was half sentient itself.  Only pieces of Armin Zola’s code remained, but the video was intact. 

 

“Wait, I know that road…”

 

<//>

 

One of the worst parts of being an empath is that Tony can’t control it.  It’s not like telepathy where you can build up shields, stop the constant stream of input occasionally.  At least his version isn’t. Tony’s heard of mutants who could  _ push  _ their emotions onto other people too, but he’s never been able to do that either.

 

Not that he wants to in this scenario.

 

_ Worry.  Fear. Heartache. _

 

Rhodey and Pepper stand back while he destroys half his lab.  Then they hold him while he cries, until the exhaustion in his body and spirit pulls him under, into a sleep with no rest.  

 

When they wake up the next morning, a stiff and tangled mess on his ratty old couch, Tony stares up at the ceiling for a moment before he says, “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,” trying to lighten the mood.  

 

He’s moderately successful.  

 

“You told me you got that annulled,” Rhodey says, pushing against Tony’s knee with his own.  

 

_ Amusement.  Worry. Brotherhood. _

 

“He did,” Pepper confirms before Tony can try to bullshit him, “I forged your signature for you since you were on deployment.”

 

_ Fondness.  Anxiousness.  Determination. _

 

It’s hard to tell Pepper and Rhodey’s emotions apart when they’re so close to each other, in type and in proximity.

 

“Ooo, remember on our way back to Lemoore AFB, we stopped in that little podunk town, the one with the truck stop that had the most amazing Belgian waffles?” Tony asks, fidgeting a little in their hold, but not making any real move to get up yet.  

 

“You mean Kerman?” Rhodey says.  

 

_ Fond exasperation. _

 

“I want waffles,” Tony sighs, mostly because he just isn’t capable of dealing with the world at the moment.  He could go either way on waffles themselves, but they’re just the right kind of excuse to go gallivanting off across the country.

 

“It’s a three hour flight to Yosemite International...” Rhodey says, like that would ever deter them.  

 

“Pepper, Rhodey’s being reasonable,” Tony whines, because he knows she’ll let him get away with it right now.   

 

“Rhodey, stop being reasonable,” Pepper intones faithfully.  

 

“Fine,” Rhodey says with a sigh, “But only if you introduce me as your ex-husband for the whole trip.”

 

Tony twists his head around to he can give Rhodey a grin.  “You’ve got a deal, Platypus.”

 

_ We would fight the world for you. _

 

<//>

 

“Sir, there is something else you should see,” JARVIS speaks up when they get back from California that afternoon.  Sir is certainly not giving off any indication that he wishes to continue dealing with any of this, but there are some things that are too important to wait for emotions to level out.

 

_ Apprehension. _

 

“Can’t it wait, J?” Tony asks, knowing that whatever it is probably isn’t going to be good news.  

 

“I’m afraid not, sir.  My research shows that Sergeant Barnes is not actually the most pertinent threat right now.”

 

“You think he’s a threat to Tony?” Rhodey asks at the same time Pepper says, “How so?”

 

“The serum that Hydra stole from sir’s father did not simply go into storage,” JARVIS tells them, bringing up a screen, “More super soldiers were created, from volunteers who were already fanatically loyal to Hydra.  As you can see from the accompanying files though, their fanaticism was heightened by the serum into a near uncontrollable blood lust that left Hydra hesitant to deploy them, so they were put in cryostasis in a remote Siberian bunker.  They were supposed to supplant Sergeant Barnes’ usefulness to the organization, since they had to resort to such extreme measures to control him,” JARVIS explains, summarizing stacks of Russian dossiers for them and reiterating the use of  _ the chair _ on Sergeant Barnes through displaying diagrams of the device, “But in the end they were left with what they referred to as ‘killing machines with no trigger’, which seemed an innocuous turn of phrase at first…” JARVIS pauses, pulling up different sets of files, “But upon further exploration, it turned out to be a literal statement.  Through a highly specialized form of brainwashing and torture, they were able to program Sergeant Barnes’ brain to respond to a series of spoken words that would make him completely compliant to their orders.”

 

“And let me guess, Barnes was in factory reset mode when he murdered my parents,” Tony says, looking resigned.  

 

“Standard procedure was to implement all assassinations through use of the trigger words,” JARVIS answers, “So, yes, Barnes would have had no control over his actions at the time.  My efforts to determine the exact words and their sequence have been futile so far. It seems some things Hydra deemed too sensitive to record in a digital medium at all…”

 

“And all of this was on SHIELD’s servers?” Pepper questions in the growing silence.  

 

_ Stubbornness. _

 

“Well, since the priority of sir’s original search indicated to use any and all means necessary, I took the liberty of extending that priority level to the rest of my related queries,” JARVIS explains haughtily, “Most of the information regarding the failed super soldiers was  _ cross referenced _ from an old, highly encrypted KGB server.”

 

“Man, hacking our own Pentagon is one thing, but if you mess around with other countries’ systems you’re going to get in big trouble one day,” Rhodey sighs, but he doesn’t look too put out.

 

_ Pride. _

 

“J knows better than to get  _ caught _ , Platypus,” Tony says, giving him a wry smile.  

 

<//>  

 

Ironman and War Machine go on a super secret mission, without the rest of the boy band, retrieving the cryo’d soldiers from Siberia without any fuss.  

 

<//>  

 

“Any luck on locating Barnes yet, J?”

 

“Not yet, sir.  Sergeant Barnes seems to be staying under the radar for now.  I have come across several ‘feelers’ put out by Captain America in his search for him, but there have been no responses to those either.”

 

Tony nods.  “Stay on it J, this guy is too dangerous to just be left to himself.  At least with those trigger words rattling around in his head still.”

 

“Of course, sir.  I’ll inform you the moment I locate the Sergeant.”

 

<//>

 

_ Hope.  Determination. _

 

“Hey, Tones, what are you working on?” Rhodey asks as he sets a grease-splotched take out bag on Tony’s workbench.  

 

“Doesn’t have a name yet,” Tony says, never losing focus, “But it’s an idea I’ve been kicking around for a little while now.”

 

“Yeah?  What’s it do?”

 

“It’s kind of a cross between a holographic simulation, brainwave stimulator, and immersion therapy.  And it’s guided by a person’s own choices within the simulation. Might come in handy for deprogramming people who were, I don’t know, raised in cults, or brainwashed, or just have an exaggerated guilt complex or something,” Tony shrugs.  

 

_ Disbelief.  Admiration. _

 

“You’re a better man than this world deserves, Tones,” Rhodey says quietly.  

 

“Well, I have some experience with being held captive and tortured by people who want you to work for them.  Granted, I’m a genius who found a way out, where Barnes isn’t, but I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have been able to hold out for years against it, for  _ decades _ …  Is that milkshake for me?” Tony deflects when things start to get a little  _ too _ heavy, pointing at the second cup Rhodey’s holding.

 

“Nah, it’s for DUM-E,” Rhodey says, handing it over anyway.  He waits until Tony is already taking a sip of it to add, “Motor oil flavored.”

 

_ Sheepish. _

 

Rhodey spends the next five minutes patting Tony’s back while he hacks up an inhaled slurp of Oreo Blast.

 

<//>

 

Tony is over halfway through building the prototype of his device to re-frame the  _ past _ , instead of the future, when JARVIS finds Barnes.  

 

“He has been working under the table for a construction company in Bucharest.  He has not attempted any contact, with Hydra or Captain Rogers, and makes all his purchases in cash.  Sergeant Barnes appears to be  _ laying low _ , as it were,” JARVIS says, splicing together security feeds, traffic camera stills, and the backgrounds of several people’s personal cell phone recordings to get a picture of Barnes’ life.  

 

“Is Steve anywhere close to finding him?” Tony asks.

 

_ Pretend offense. _

 

“No, sir.  Captain Rogers does not have access to, nor the expertise himself to use the measures that  _ I _ have,” JARVIS says.

 

“Ok.  Ok. No need to get your panties in a twist,” Tony says, playing along, “I wouldn’t put it past Steve to have the dumb luck to stumble across him without actually having a lead, that’s all.”

 

“...  Captain Rogers is currently in Suriname, so that would have to be quite the stumble, sir,” JARVIS informs him.  

 

“Got it.  I thought he was off grid though?” Tony asks, tilting his head.  

 

“He is not off  _ my  _ grid,” JARVIS says, “Quite literally.  The Captain is still using the upgraded gloves you designed for him to catch the shield with.  The ones with tracking devices embedded in them.”

 

Tony sighs, rubbing at his forehead.  

 

“Sir?  You are not considering turning over Sergeant Barnes’ location to the Captain, are you?”  

 

“What?  God no,” Tony says, eyeing JARVIS’s nearest camera skeptically.

 

_ Relief. _

 

“Would you like me to hold on to this information until such a time as it becomes pertinent then?” JARVIS asks.

 

“Actually, send the coordinates to the suit, J.  I have a few questions I’d like to ask Frosty the Assassin-man before I decide what to do next.”

 

<//>  

 

Tony doesn’t exactly care about leaving signs of “forced entry”, but blowing the door off Barnes’ apartment when he realizes the man isn’t home would  _ probably  _ get the cops called on him...  Ironman has ways of getting around deadbolts anyway.  The security on this place predates the cold-war era, just like Barnes.  He was hoping to catch the man sleeping, but Barnes must be working a night shift, or out drinking his troubles away or something.  

 

It’s close to dawn before the man returns, bleary eyed, worn down, and dressed one step up from a hobo.  

 

_ Surprise. _

 

Barnes pulls a gun on him, quick as lightning.  

 

Tony is still wearing the suit, but the face plate is up, and he just rolls his eyes at Barnes’ display.  

 

“How did you find me?” Barnes asks.  

 

_ Fear. _

 

“With the most advanced computer program in the world,” Tony says, not raising a gauntlet just yet.  He’ll apologize to JARVIS for calling him that later.

 

_ Fear.  Trepidation.  Anxiety. _

 

“How did you get in here?” Barnes asks, his eyes flicking to the other entry points.  

 

“The most advanced robots in the world.  Little bitty ones,” Tony says, holding his thumb and finger about an inch apart.  The movement is slightly ridiculous with the suit on, but Barnes just blinks at him a couple times, so Tony ventures on.  “Do you know who I am?”

 

_ Resignation.  Fear. _

 

“You’re Ironman.  You’re a... _ do not engage _ ,” Barnes says.  

 

Tony raises an eyebrow.  “Did Hydra set those parameters?”

 

Barnes nods, wary like a stray cat, ready to bolt at any moment.  

 

“Why?” Tony asks.

 

“Because they knew I couldn’t win,” Barnes tells him, finally lowering the gun.  “You’re not Hydra. Why are you here?”

 

“Because you killed my parents,” Tony says, watching Barnes’ reaction closely.  

 

Barnes’ eyes widen.

 

_ Sorrow.  Pain. Fear.  Self loathing.  Regret. Fear. Resignation.  Fear. Overwhelmed. Shame. Fear. _

 

Tony’s eyes widen too, being hit with that wave of emotion.  He can’t say he’s ever felt such a strong mixture of so many  _ bad things _ pour off of a person all at once like this…  

 

“For what it’s worth,” Barnes says, falling first to one knee and then the other, in slow motion like a machine suddenly missing a key structural support, “I didn’t want to.”

 

And then he closes his eyes.  

 

There’s still the tiniest, smallest chance that this is all a ploy, at least, if Tony wasn’t able to  _ feel  _ the raw truthfulness to Barnes’ emotions there would be...  But as it is, there are only three people and three artificial intelligences in the world that know Tony is an empath.  

 

Tony steps out of the suit.  

 

Barnes draws in a breath at the mechanical sounds it gives off as it shifts, as if he’s taking one last action to steady himself…

 

“Barnes,” Tony says softly, not wanting to spook him.  He made up his mind about the man somewhere between  _ self loathing _ and  _ regret _ .  “This isn’t revenge.”

 

Barnes opens his eyes, looking up at Tony incredulously.  

 

“At least, not the kind of revenge you’re envisioning,” he says, waving a hand at the man being ready for execution, “Disassembling the gun used in a murder does nothing for the root cause.  My revenge against Hydra will be much more complex and far reaching than that. Killing you? That’s counter productive, actually.”

 

“I…  I can’t help you take down Hydra,” Barnes croaks out, tears filling his voice, “There are  _ words. _  When they say them, I’m not in control anymore,  _ they are. _ ”  

 

“I know,” Tony tells him, “I’m working on a way to fix that.  To erase their hold on you.”

 

_ Wariness.  Disbelief. Fear. _

 

“I don’t understand,” Barnes says, making no move to dry his face yet.  

 

“Sometimes, when we’ve- when a person has been abused, the best revenge they can have is to heal, and move on, and live your best life anyway, in spite of their abusers,” Tony tells him.

 

“I’d rather see Hydra dead,” Barnes says, literal to Tony’s metaphorical.  

 

“That’s definitely on the docket too,” Tony answers, pointing at Barnes in agreement, “But you’re not a part of  _ that _ .”

 

_ Wary hope _ .

 

“What do you want from me then?” Barnes asks.

 

“I want you to come to New York, where I can keep an eye on you until we can get the trigger words removed.  So I don’t have to worry about anyone else finding you in the meantime,” Tony says truthfully. He has a feeling that being re-captured by Hydra is Barnes’ biggest fear right now.  He knows it would be if it were him.

 

_ Wary.  Caution.  Wary. _

 

“Am I your prisoner?”

 

“If you were going to be my ‘prisoner’ I would have just tranqued you from a distance and hauled your unconscious body back over my shoulder,” Tony says, giving him a look that says, ‘come on, give me a little credit here’...  

 

“Only if you were smart,” Barnes says, finally wiping the moisture off his face.  

 

_ Caution.  Guilt. Tentative hope. _

 

“Well, I have been known to have a bright idea or two in my time.”

 

<//>

 

Tony gives Barnes a photostatic veil and tells him to meet him in Prague in two days, he’ll have transportation back to the States ready for them then.  

 

<//>  

 

Barnes shows up in front of the astronomical clock at exactly 1:17pm, just like they planned, wearing a three piece suit and looking like a young Cary Grant.  The location and time they planned, not the Cary Grant part. 

 

“Somehow I thought as an infamous assassin, you’d have a better ‘undercover’ sense,” Tony says once JARVIS alerts him to which of the surrounding people have a metal arm.  

 

“Being average is better for being undercover, but it would look out of place at  _ Tony Stark’s _ side.  Being good looking is better for  _ getting away _ with things,” Barnes says, coming in for a hug as if they’re old friends.  

 

“Do I want to know what you did to get this suit?” Tony says with a smile as they pull apart.

 

“I sold my gun,” Barnes says, giving him a look that says, ‘come on, give me a little credit here’...

 

They make it to New York without incident.  

 

<//>  

 

“I remember most of my time with Hydra pretty clearly,” Barnes says on the drive to the Tower, “It’s the stuff before that that’s swiss cheese.”

 

“Ok,” Tony says, keeping his eyes on the road.  

 

“There were other super soldiers,” Barnes says, his breath coming out as a shudder.  

 

“I know,” Tony admits.

 

“You didn’t thaw them out, did you?” Barnes asks immediately, turning half toward Tony in his seat.  

 

“No.  They’ve been moved to a much more secure, less known location.  I’m not sure what to do with them long term, but no, I did not thaw them out,” he answers, turning smoothly with traffic.  

 

“Ok,” Barnes says, accepting that for now, “Ok.”

 

<//>

 

Tony points out his, Rhodey’s, and Pepper’s suites while he’s assigning Barnes his own.  He also mentions that there’s a kitchen, a common area, yada yada yada. He figures JARVIS can do the rest of the showing around later.  

 

“The man with the shield, Captain America,” Barnes says, visibly repressing a frown, “He doesn’t come around often, does he?” 

 

“No, not really.  Why do you ask?” 

 

“I’m just…  I remember pieces, but, they don’t make any sense…  Before I left D.C., I went to the Captain America exhibit.  They had pictures of me in there, but, it felt like I was looking at a stranger.  I just want to be free of Hydra, I’m not ready to be ‘Bucky Barnes’. I don’t even know who he was,” Barnes confesses.  

 

“Trust me, with what he’s hiding from me, the Tower is the absolute  _ last  _ place Steve wants to be right now.  You’re safer hiding here than anywhere else on the planet, if it’s from him,” Tony assures him.

 

“You know he’s hiding something from you?”

 

“He knows you assassinated my parents, and he didn’t say anything,” Tony says evenly, giving a shrug, “But what can you do?  Not all heroes live up to the myth, sad but true.”

 

“And he’s out there, looking for me,” Barnes says contemplatively.  

 

“On my dime too,” Tony points out, giving Barnes a exaggeratedly fake smile.

 

“What an asshole,” Barnes finally frowns.

 

“My sentiments exactly.”

 

<//>  

 

There’s a bit of a transition period, with Barnes.  Tony isn’t even exactly sure what the man wants to be called, so he just sticks to seasonally themed nicknames.  Barnes doesn’t look particularly amused when Tony calls him “Winter Wonderland”, but he doesn’t look upset either.  And he does respond to the nicknames, as opposed to ignoring Tony out of protest, so there’s that. 

 

“I remembered my sisters today,” Barnes says out of the blue one Wednesday.

 

“Yeah?  That’s progress,” Tony nods, pausing in taking a bite of his quesadilla.

 

“JARVIS said he’s done some reading up on memory loss for me, the amnesia type stuff, and that I shouldn’t try to force things,” Barnes shrugs, “How much of that applies to having your mind wiped by high voltages of electricity, who knows, but I’d rather play it safe than sorry.”  

 

“JARVIS is arguably the most trustworthy being in this Tower, if he tells you something, it’s probably true,” Tony agrees.

 

“My accuracy is second only to sir’s magic 8 ball,” JARVIS confirms sarcastically.  

 

“His what?”

 

<//>  

 

_ Amusement. _

 

“This is the most useless piece of crap I’ve ever seen,” Barnes says, squinting to try and read the little triangle through the window of the magic 8 ball, “I like it.”

 

_ Caution. _

 

“Wait until he finds out about pet rocks,” Rhodey snorts.

 

“And bobble heads,” Pepper adds.

 

“Where did you even get that?” Tony asks, realizing he does not, in fact, have a magic 8 ball laying around to tease JARVIS with, even though he should.  

 

“I bought it from that market a couple blocks over,” Barnes says easily.  

 

<//>

 

“How long has he been leaving the Tower?” Tony asks JARVIS later.  

 

“Almost since day one, sir.  You did not place any restriction on his movement, so I did not alert you…”

 

“No, that’s fine, J.  I guess I just thought that he’d be holed up for a while, you know, like, brooding or something,” Tony says.  

 

“While Sergeant Barnes does often display an increased moodiness when confronted with incomplete memories, his temperament otherwise is rather even.  Of course, his situational awareness borders on paranoia at times, but I do have to admit that in his case, it is not entirely unfounded,” JARVIS relays to him.  

 

“Does he use the photostatic veil when he goes out?”

 

“Always, sir.”

 

<//>

 

Two days later, Tony finds an Ironman bobble-head on top of the coffee maker.  

 

“J?”

 

“I believe it is what they call a gag gift, sir.”

 

“Huh.  Usually people know the workshop is the best place to find me…  But this is definitely a close second.”

 

“Sir, you have not given Sergeant Barnes clearance for the workshop yet,” JARVIS reminds him.

 

<//>

 

_ Fascination.  Awe. Wonder. _

 

“So this is where the magic happens.  And by magic, I mean science,” Tony says, waving his hand to encompass the entirety of the workshop.  “No, I was not waving you over, DUM-E, you go back to your charging station. You’re only at 80% and you know it.”

 

“He’s a real robot, isn’t he?” Barnes says, staring at DUM-E.  

 

DUM-E waves at him from across the room, ensconced in his charging station once again.  

 

Barnes waves back, a grin spreading over his face.  

 

_ Amazement. _

 

“He sure is.  He’s the first A.I. I ever created,” Tony explains, “He’s a helper bot.”

 

Barnes snorts.  

 

Tony raises an eyebrow at him.  

 

“He’s a helping hand?” Barnes says, smiling conspiratorially.  

 

“ _ Exactly _ .”  

 

<//>  

 

Six hours later, Tony still hasn’t explained everything in his workshop to Barnes.  Partly because some things are proprietary knowledge, partly because Barnes get just gets so excited over every little thing, and Tony can’t help but indulge his enthusiastic questions.  

 

“I mean, I’ve used microwaves before, there was one in the break room at the construction place, but, how exactly does it  _ work _ ?” Barnes wants to know.  

 

“Pardon the interruption, sir, but Ms. Potts is here for your three o’clock meeting…”

 

“Crap, it’s three already?”

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to distract you,” Barnes says.

 

_ Anxiety.  Apprehension.   _

 

“Hey, don’t worry about it.  Odds are I’d have totally forgotten about it all on my own too,” Tony assures him.  

 

“Signs point to yes,” JARVIS adds dryly.  

 

Barnes snickers his whole way back to the elevator.  

 

<//>  

 

“I remembered graduating from high school,” Barnes tells them over breakfast one morning, “I graduated first in my class.”

 

“Hey, me too!” Tony announces, since they’ve finally discovered something meaningful that they share in common.

 

“Me three,” Pepper says.

 

“And me four.  Welcome to the nerd table,” Rhodey adds, patting Barnes on the back.

 

Barnes doesn’t look displeased at all with the revelation.  

 

<//>  

 

_ Concern _ .

 

“Hey, is he ok?” Rhodey asks, seeing Barnes laying on the couch in Tony’s workshop, facing the back cushions with his arm over his head.  DUM-E is wheeling his way over with a blanket as they speak.

 

“He walked down the block his old house used to be on this morning,” Tony tells him.

 

“On purpose or on accident?”

 

“By accident.”

 

“That sucks,” Rhodey confirms.

 

<//>

 

“Hey, I wanted to say thanks for taking care of me the other day,” Barnes says as he enters the workshop.

 

“No problem.  Mi casa es su casa,” Tony says, glancing up from his soldering iron.  

 

“Not you, you didn’t do anything,” Barnes says, giving him a teasing look, “I was talking to DUM-E.”

 

_ Highlight of my day. _

 

<//>

 

_ Awe.  Amazement. _

 

“You know, I kind of thought you’d be more fucked up than you are?...” Tony says after showing Barnes the finished prototype of the Binary Augmented Retro Framing system.  There’s still an extensive amount of testing that needs to be done before hooking it up to a human, but the proof of concept is done. 

 

“Well, if all I had were the memories of what Hydra did to me, then yeah, I’d be a fucking mess.  I pretty much was for those first few weeks after escaping. But it’s like, the more things come back to me, the easier it is to remember that I’m still my own person.  I still have choices, and a life to decide what to do with. You knowing everything that happened, and still accepting me, it means a lot too. It helps,” Barnes confesses.  

 

_ Hope _ .

 

“Well, you’re welcome,” Tony says, clearing his throat and moving on.

 

<//>

 

_ Embarrassment.  Sheepishness. _

 

“Uh, Tony?...” Barnes asks, “Could I get your help with something?”

 

“Sure, Snowflake, what’s up?” Tony asks, sitting up from his workbench and stretching out his back a little.  

 

“Well, uh, I kind of took apart the microwave to see how it worked?  And now I can’t get it back together again?...” Barnes informs him with a wince.  

 

“The microwave in the kitchen?” Tony asks, stalling for time to keep from laughing.  

 

“No, the microwave in the bathroom,” Barnes says sarcastically.  

 

Tony does start laughing at that.

 

“Come on, this is serious.  Pepper will be home in like an hour, and you know Thursdays are her days to unwind with a bag of that microwave kettle corn stuff she likes after work,” Barnes pleads with him.  

 

“Ok, ok, fine.  But only because it would be a damn shame for you to have escaped Hydra only to be killed by Pepper,” Tony chuckles. 

 

_ Happiness. _

 

“You might think he’s joking, but Pepper’s taken out more of the bad guys that we’ve gone up against than either of us have,” Rhodey says from the workbench beside Tony’s.

 

“Really?” Barnes asks.

 

“Really really,” Tony nods as they head for the elevator, “Remind me to tell you the tales of Obadiah Stane and Aldrich Killian sometime.”

 

Rhodey gives the two of them a thoughtful look as they’re leaving.  

 

<//>  

 

“J?”

 

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

 

“Do you know…  Is there a reason Tony never calls me by my real name?”

 

“I believe sir uses nicknames as terms of endearment as well as ice breakers.  He means no offense by it,” JARVIS assures him. 

 

“Oh, ok.”

 

“Is there a particular form of address that you would prefer?” JARVIS asks.

 

“Well, I’ve been thinking of going by Bucky again.  I… I remember quite a bit of my life now, and it doesn’t seem weird anymore,” Bucky tells him.  

 

“I will make sure that sir is aware,” JARVIS says.  

 

Ten minutes later, Tony comes up from the workshop, heading straight for Bucky.  He’s noticed that’s a thing that Tony does, whenever he has something especially funny to say, or that he’s sure will get a big reaction, he always comes to deliver the line in person.  

 

“You do realize that ‘Bucky’ is, in fact, just another nickname, right?”

 

And there’s that trademark Tony grin, the one that’s half flirty half sarcastic.  Bucky isn’t even sure how he does that, but he never gets tired of seeing it.

 

“I’m aware.  Dinner’s ready, by the way.”

 

“Hey!  You tricked me!” Tony says, aghast, “I still had another fifteen minutes in the workshop!”

 

“However will I live with myself,” Bucky says dryly, doing his best impersonation of JARVIS.

 

“I have yet to be able to sleep at night,” JARVIS himself informs them.  

 

“Eh, sleep protocols are overrated anyway,” Tony waves him off.

 

“Not if you’re human, Tony.”

 

<//>

 

“So we’re shooting toward the upper atmosphere at like 150 miles an hour, and he grabs a hold of me, talking about how much more advanced his suit is, and I say, ‘Oh yeah?  How’d you solve the icing problem?’”

 

“Icing problem?” Bucky asks.

 

“Hey, that’s exactly what he said!” Tony grins, like this isn’t the story of how someone he considered family tried to kill him.  “Then his suit froze up and started plummeting back to earth. And then my suit ran out of juice and was operating on emergency power, but man, it was a great line.”

 

Bucky chuckles, playing along with the mood Tony’s setting.  He does always love getting to hear about the things Tony’s invented, even if the  _ details  _ of things like the Ironman suit are off limits.  “Was that the highest you’ve ever flown? Were you higher than airplanes fly?  What’s the highest anyone’s ever gone?”

 

“Uh, you know men went to the moon, right?” Tony says, slightly baffled at the line of questioning.

 

“What?  Are you shitting me?” Bucky says, sitting up straight in his chair, “We went to the  _ moon _ ?  Like, landed  _ on it _ ?”  

 

“Are you for real right now?  No, I’m not shitting you. How has the moon landing never come up before in all the science stuff we’ve talked about?” Tony wonders, half to himself.  “JARVIS, queue up the Apollo landing on the big screen in the home theater. We can’t let him watch this on a  _ tablet. _ ”  

 

They sit down in the dimly lit stadium seating side by side.  JARVIS begins rolling the footage as soon as they’re ready, no prompting needed.  The picture is mostly white on black, with the light of it bouncing off of Bucky’s awe stricken face.  Tony knows this because he’s watching Bucky and not the screen. Bucky looks like he’s watching some heavenly chorus, like he’s having a  _ religious experience _ as Apollo 11 touches down.

 

God, he’s beautiful outside  _ and  _ in, Tony finds himself thinking.  

 

Tears gather in Bucky’s eyes, though they haven’t spilled down his cheeks yet when he turns to Tony with a huge grin on his face.  

 

“I’m living  _ in the future _ ,” Bucky says at half a whisper, like he’s just now realizing it.

 

_ Overjoyed.  Amazed. Love this. _

 

“Well…  Welcome,” Tony says, grinning back.  

 

_ Belonging.  Happiness. Longing. _

 

“Thanks, Tony.”

 

<//>

 

One of the things that Tony doesn’t mind too much about being an empath is when he knows a person well enough to parse out their more complex emotions.  Like the very exact mix of determination and regret Rhodey felt when leaving on deployments. Or the certain type of satisfaction that Pepper would get from being a beautiful woman throwing off the grading curve in her classes.  

 

Now, when Rhodey has to head back to the Air Force, it’s easy for Tony to tell that the hope he feels is a hope that Tony doesn’t do anything too dangerous while he’s gone.  And when Pepper is pissed after a board meeting, it’s not at him for not engaging enough, it’s at the misogynistic assholes who prefer to  _ engage  _ with Tony and not her.  

 

The first time he realizes he can tell that Bucky’s happy specifically because he and Tony went out to eat together, Tony has to do a little mental math, because has Bucky really been here  _ that  _ long?...  

 

“J?  When did Bucky first arrive at the Tower?”

 

“It has been ten months, fifteen days, and three hours, sir,” JARVIS answers.  

 

“Huh…  Well, anyway, let’s run through the computer sim again with the new parameters, say, give it a hundred thousand reps and see if we get any degradation this time.  The B.A.R.F. is too important to rush through testing,” Tony instructs. 

 

“Agreed, sir.”

 

<//>

 

_ Anxiety.  Self loathing.  Being a burden. _

 

Tony can feel Bucky’s distress before the elevator doors even open.  “Hey, Bucky… Wow, you look like shit.”

 

“Feel like it too,” Bucky says, no argument, “Mind if I crash down here for a while?  Being alone just makes it worse sometimes, when the nightmares have been bad…”

 

“Of course.  DUM-E would be more than happy to smother you with his robotic affections,” Tony says, waving toward the couch.

 

_ Not the affections I want. _

 

Oh.  

 

Tony almost adds something like, ‘unless you’d prefer a little  _ human  _ contact’, but he stops himself before the words come out.  Bucky’s emotions have been moving further and further in this direction lately, but he doesn’t know that Tony knows that…  Knowing whether or not to hit on a person who he knows is interested in him has never been one of Tony’s strong suits. That is to say, he spent most of his life just hitting on everyone to see if it would stick, because most people don’t ever feel just good things about him.

 

But Bucky deserves better than that.  And frankly, he isn’t going to take that choice away from him, to decide for himself if or when to act on what he’s feeling for Tony.  

 

Bucky starts looking less put through the wringer after playing fetch with DUM-E for a while, but he stays lounging on the couch for the rest of the day.  

 

“Can I ask you something?” Bucky wants to know, after Tony gets through explaining jet propulsion to him.  

 

“Yes.  Unless it’s about relativity again, because we only have two hours left before we have to get ready for our reservation with Pep at Giovanni’s, so we do not have time for that,” Tony admonishes.  

 

“Why  _ aren’t _ you afraid of me?” Bucky asks curiously, not even really in a self-deprecating manner, just, like he’s been wondering.  “With everything I’ve done, and everything you know I’m capable of-”

 

“Capable of being turned into, there’s a difference,” Tony interjects, pointing his wrench at him.

 

Bucky tips his head in agreement.  “But like I was saying, if Hydra got a hold of me right now, with everything I know about this place, I could take you down easily.  You wouldn’t even see me coming,” Bucky says.

 

_ Worried for you. _

 

“You know, I am in fact, a  _ literal  _ super hero.  One that your former captors knew was dangerous enough that they told you not to  _ engage  _ me,” Tony points out.

 

“Yeah, in the suit…  But you’re not always in the suit,” Bucky says.

 

_ Concern.  Caring.  _

 

“Well, even outside the suit, I’m still a formidable opponent,” Tony says crossing his arms over his chest.  

 

“You’re just as squishy and human as the rest of them, that’s what,” Bucky says, not unkindly.  

 

Tony hesitates.  

 

Bucky tilts his head, seeing it and silently questioning what it is Tony isn’t saying.  

 

“Uh, actually…  I’m not. Human, that is,” Tony says, dropping his crossed arms and fiddling with the wrench in his hand a little.  

 

“ _ Sir… _ ”

 

Tony looks up at JARVIS’s camera.  “It’s my choice, J, ok?”

 

_ Hesitance.  Worry. Protectiveness. _

 

“Of course, sir.”

 

“I’m not human.  I’m a mutant. I would be able to feel you coming, even if I couldn’t see you,” Tony says, feeling like as much as Bucky has trusted him over these months, it’s time to trust him back.  Especially if this  _ thing  _ between them is going to be able to grow.

 

“Feel me?” Bucky says, decidedly not freaking out, which is a good sign.  

 

“I’m an empath.  And that is a closely guarded secret, by the way, so I better not see you blabbing about it on Twitter later,” Tony says.

 

“I am preparing the NDA for Sergeant Barnes to sign as we speak,” JARVIS informs them.  

 

“I’ve heard of mutants,” Bucky says, looking at him closely, like he should be able to see some difference, but can’t, “They have different... _ powers _ , and stuff…  What’s an empath?”  

 

“Oh…  Uh, well, it means that I can feel the emotions of the people around me.  It’s not mind reading, I can’t read people’s thoughts like a  _ tele _ path, but I can tell if they’re happy or sad or whatever.”

 

“Of if they feel as if they are betraying you,” JARVIS adds.

 

“Hush, you,” Tony says, making a motion with his wrench like he’s banging on the ceiling with a broom.  

 

“So, you can tell what people are feeling?” Bucky says, standing up off the couch and coming closer.  “That actually explains a lot… Can you tell what I’m feeling right now?” he asks as he steps right up in front of Tony, hands in his pockets non threateningly, a slow smile spreading over his face.  

 

_ Desire.  Anticipation.  Hope. Want. _

 

“Yeah,” Tony whispers, blushing under the intensity of what Bucky’s practically projecting at him.  He doesn’t look away though. 

 

“Would it be alright, if I kissed you now?” Bucky asks him.  

 

Tony just nods, unable to form a snarky response.

 

“God, the future is beautiful...more beautiful than I’d even imagined,” Bucky says, taking his hands out of his pockets and brushing a thumb over Tony’s cheek.  

 

When their lips meet, it’s a soft, gentle thing, in contrast to the overwhelming intensity of the happiness Bucky feels during it.

 

Tony is feeling pretty damn happy at the moment too.  

 

But then a whirring noise sounds right next to their heads, and Tony startles when he sees that DUM-E’s claw is  _ right there _ , an inch away from their faces, holding a stack of papers.  

 

“Gah!  What the hell, DUM-E?” Tony waves his arm away as Bucky starts laughing.  

 

“He’s just trying to help,” Bucky says, his eyes bright with mirth.

 

“He’s a menace, that’s what he is.  Put those down! No, he does not have to sign right this second.  I swear to god, DUM-E, I’m going to sell you to an assembly line one of these days.  And not a fun one making Audis, you’ll be welding together misshapen Teslas in a tent, mister!”  

 

DUM-E’s claw droops, but he perks back up a second later and is shoving the papers at Bucky again.  

 

“Ok, ok, give me those.  I’ll sign,” Bucky says, still chuckling, “You’d think he’d be used to the people who care about him looking out for him by now,” Bucky says to DUM-E, hitching a thumb at Tony.  

 

DUM-E spins his claw around in the air, which is an affirmative.  

 

“Yeah, yeah, don’t act so smug,” Tony grumbles, a little peeved that the kissing was interrupted before its time.  

 

“Do you just know his movements and stuff that well, or can you feel him too?” Bucky wonders, still flipping through to the last page of the NDA.

 

“Hm?  Oh, yeah, actually, that’s how I knew for sure that my code had worked, because the next morning, I could feel him,” Tony says, putting a hand on DUM-E’s carriage.  

 

“I’m sure you can tell,” Bucky says, looking at him in awe, “But I really feel the need to kiss you again right now.”

 

“I was getting that vibe, yes,” Tony says happily.  

 

Bucky sets the signed paperwork aside.

 

<//>  

 

Tony comes back from a minor mission, bad guy put down successfully, and lets Bucky get an eyeful of the suit this time before he puts it away.  

 

“This is easily the fourth greatest thing you’ve ever invented,” Bucky gushes, poking at one of the leg struts.     
  


“As I see it, yes,” JARVIS says before Tony can open his mouth.  

 

Tony represses his immediate urge to contradict.  

 

Sometimes he forgets that JARVIS and the bots aren’t just his friends, but his creations.  Not that he ever really forgets that he made them… But… Yeah… 

 

<//>  

 

“So, the reason I’ve gathered you here today,” Tony says, spinning around in his workshop chair and smiling at the look Bucky gives him, “Is to announce that the B.A.R.F. is ready when you are.”

 

Bucky’s mood instantly shifts from happy contentment to reserved anxiousness.  

 

“Bucky?”

 

Bucky sighs, running a hand through his hair.  “This B.A.R.F. thing, you really think it can remove the triggers?” he asks.

 

_ Worry.  Fear. Anxiety.  _

 

“I do.  JARVIS and I have run the numbers, over and over, and there’s a 92% chance of success,” Tony says seriously, no joking around.  

 

“And if it doesn’t work?” Bucky asks.

 

_ Hesitance.  Fear. Don’t want to lose this. _

 

“Well, if it  _ doesn’t  _ work, then...you’ll still have the triggers?...” Tony says, not sure what Bucky’s getting at.  

 

“But I mean,” Bucky says, choking up a little, “It won’t, uh, scramble me up again?” he asks, motioning toward his head and looking teary.

 

“What?  Jesus,  _ no _ , of course not,” Tony says, springing up out of his chair and going to Bucky’s side.  “I tested it out on myself first. It’s not going to  _ hurt _ , you won’t even feel a twinge,” Tony assures him.

 

_ FEAR. _

 

“You did what?!!” Bucky takes a hold of Tony’s head, like he’s checking it over for harm right then.  “Tony! Are you crazy?”

 

“That’s, actually, that’s debatable,” Tony replies, floored by the depth of Bucky’s concern for him.  

 

Bucky pulls him in for a tight hug.

 

Tony hugs him back.

 

<//>  

 

JARVIS guides Bucky’s sessions with the B.A.R.F. system.

 

JARVIS is the one to speak the trigger words to him once the sessions are complete.  

 

JARVIS also gets to deliver the news to sir, that the triggers were successfully removed, so it all evens out in the end.  

 

<//>  

 

“Sir,” JARVIS says, interrupting Tony and Bucky’s make out session against the refrigerator a few days later, “Captain Rogers is currently crossing the Atlantic with a trajectory that will put him in New York City within the next few hours.”

 

“Shit.”

 

<//>

 

_ Shame.  Determination. _

 

Steve shows up at the Tower the next day, looking worse for the wear and hanging his head.  

 

_ Regret.  Apology. Anxiousness.   _

 

Tony pretends to be surprised to see him, but he’s more surprised by the feeling of having been wrong that’s coming off of Steve.  

 

“Tony, there’s something I need to tell you,” he says, the Steve Rogers patented Game Face in full effect.  “The assassin that Hydra sent after Fury, then after me, he was actually someone I know. It was Bucky Barnes, Tony.  He’s been their prisoner for 70 years, brainwashed and turned into a killing machine by them.”

 

Tony nods along, letting every bit of the seriousness he feels regarding the situation show through.  

 

“And that’s not all,” Steve says, visibly fortifying himself for what he’s going to say next.  “Hydra ordered a hit on,...on your parents, Tony, and they used him to carry it out. But he didn’t have a choice, Tony, they got inside his head and, and  _ programmed _ him, they  _ made  _ him do those things for them.  He ran from them as hard as he could, the first chance he got.  I’ve been trying to find him before they did, but… I thought I  _ had  _ found him, in Bucharest, but the trail was long cold, and I’m afraid…  I’m afraid they’ve got him again, Tony. I know I should have told you sooner, and I’m sorry, I truly am, but I really need your help to find him.  I can’t do it on my own,” Steve admits, starting to tear up. He stops there, watching Tony for his reaction. 

 

“I know,” Tony says, staring him down.  

 

Steve looks confused for a second.

 

“I know about Bucky.  And I know that you can’t do it on your own,” Tony clarifies.  As much as he wants to rage against Steve for lying to him, he knows that the man does get some points for coming and telling him on his own now, even though he didn’t initially.  “I’ve known since the data dump who the Winter Soldier was, and the missions of relevance toward me that he carried out,” Tony says calmly. 

 

“You went looking for him too, didn’t you?” Steve asks, because he may not be a genius, but he isn’t stupid.  “Did you find him?” 

 

Tony sighs, seeing Bucky exit his hiding place in the kitchen, but not giving away anything himself.

 

“Tony.  Did you find him?” Steve demands to know, sounding a touch desperate now.  

 

“Yeah, he found me,” Bucky speaks up, making Steve whirl around in his chair so hard that he almost tips it over.  “Tony knows a thing or two about being forced to do things by your captors. He’s been giving me a safe place to stay while I got my head on straight, got my memories back.  He even found a way to remove the triggers Hydra put in my brain. Plus, he showed me the moon landing, that was pretty amazing too,” Bucky says, smiling at Tony at the end there.  

 

Steve looks dumbfounded, too shocked to move, too shocked to speak, just staring and blinking with his mouth hanging open.  

 

“And don’t forget Cheez Whiz.  And Black Sabbath,” Tony grins back.

 

“And microwaves.  And 600 thread count sheets,” Bucky goes on, his smile turning fond.

 

“You showed him your  _ sheets _ ?...” Steve asks Tony, frowning, trying to catch up and not sure if that means what he thinks it means…

 

“Well, not  _ my  _ sheets…  Not yet, anyway,” Tony admits, playing things up to feed Steve’s burgeoning embarrassment, “Those are silk though, not cotton.”

 

“Yeah?  I can’t wait to see them,” Bucky replies, his smile turning from fond to lascivious.  

 

“This is not how I imagined this conversation going…” Steve says, looking between the two of them in disbelief.  

 

“Be glad, Steve,” Tony says, giving him a knowing look for all the lies, “Because it certainly could have gone a lot worse.  It could have gone a lot,  _ lot _ worse.”

  
  
  


The End

 

 


End file.
